Juliet’s Journal: Conquering Singleness

For those of you who are wondering, Romeo and I have officially been together for 2.75 days! 🥰

After my last post exploring ways to be an awesome girlfriend, I received a question from one of my followers that I feel needs to be addressed. She writes, “I am eighteen years old, and I have been single my whole life. All of my friends are dating already, many of them since kindergarten, and I feel like I will never find my soul mate. What am I supposed to do?”

It’s a very good question, one that I am sure has plagued the mind of anyone who has ever been single. What do you do with the time before your “happily ever after?”  I can certainly empathize with the feelings. I didn’t meet Romeo until I was 19, and, let me tell you, it was the longest 19 years of my life! For those of you out there suffering from singleness, I feel your pain, and I’m here to offer some encouragement today.

I’d like to begin with a helpful quote from the ancients. (I wish I could say that I found this myself, but I don’t even attempt to read the ancients. They didn’t know how to speak English back then. Romeo is actually the one who found this quote and shared it with me. Isn’t he so smart???😍) Now, it’s very rare that the ancients got anything right, not being as advanced in thought as we are today. But occasionally they struck upon some small jewel of truth that flowed forth from their mouths in unprecedented eloquence. Such was the case with the ancients who said, “The chief end of man [sic-we must overlook the sexism here. This quote originated before it was commonly known that women are also human.] is to get married and live happily ever after.” This quote is easy to fix. Replace “man” with “humankind,” and you have one of the greatest nuggets of wisdom the world has ever known. We must always keep before our hearts this truth. If we do not, it is very easy to lose hope.

So how do we hold on to this truth in our hearts? I’m glad you asked! Here are some things that can help you make the most of your singleness today:

1. Search diligently for your soul mate.

Real life, the good part of life, doesn’t begin until the day you say, “I do.” (But I have to tell you that it does get significantly better once you start dating!) So the best thing you can do as a single today is to search diligently for that future spouse. The search can be long and grueling, but the best quests often are. I recommend spending at least 3 hours a day actively seeking your missing mate. You can read more about how to do that here.

2. Remind people of your situation.

I often say that the great evil of our time is the plight of the single person. Too often people forget what singleness truly is—a plague, much like starvation and homelessness, only far, far worse. And they need to be reminded. That is where you come in. Use your social media accounts to remind people how dire your situation really is. Here are a few methods you can use to raise awareness of your singleness:

Selfies. Selfies, specifically solo selfies, are an absolute must for the would-be married woman. I recommend taking at least 6 a day, preferably 10. But these can’t just be any old selfies. Oh, no. They must be the very best. Take a good couple of hours to get your make-up just right and your hair curled to perfection, and don’t forget the lighting. Lighting is key. You can look amazing, but if the lighting is off, no one will see that. Youtube it if you have to, but don’t skip lighting!

Also, don’t forget about filters—they are your best friend, girl! It’s amazing what a few extra layers between you and the world can do for likes! (I absolutely love the filter with the puppy dog ears and nose because we all know that animals are way more attractive than we poor humans will ever be.)

And, last but not least, strike a good pose. The last thing you want to do is smile—people have to know you’re serious about the hunt. Instead, try a duck face because, honestly, what guy doesn’t like a girl who looks like she’s going into anaphylactic shock? It’s the damsel in distress thing.

Anyway, post these selfies throughout the day, and I guarantee people will think, “What! She’s single? What is wrong with men these days?”

Hashtags. Another way to draw attention to your singleness is with hashtags. My personal favorite is #foreveralone. What a classy way to let the world know your relationship status! It’s like saying, “Yep, I’m single, but it’s totally cool.” Your friends will be envious, but, more importantly, a very influential percentage of the population will be moved to action. Mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers from across the world will instinctively sense that all is not well, and a whole army of them will arrive on your doorstep, dragging all of the nice young men they know with them. If you’re lucky, one of them might just be your soul mate!

3. Beware contentment.

Finally—and I cannot stress this enough—you must do everything in your power to resist contentment. People like to make contentment sound all nice and virtuous, but it’s not! It is nothing short of surrender and, quite frankly, defeat. You might as well go ahead and buy a cabin in rural Appalachia, post a “Trespassers will be shot” sign to the barbed wire fence, and lock yourself inside forever. No guy will ever notice you . . . except maybe the ones who like to be shot at. Don’t settle for that kind of man! Live on Hinge. Not in Timbuktu.

Well, girls, I hope this post has been a source of inspiration for you. Don’t lose hope! Utilize your resources! I’m sure it won’t be long before you too find your soul mate. Happy hunting!

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