Most Epic Poem Ever (with footnotes)

This poem was found in the residue of crumpled papers, coke cans and chocolate covered peanuts that was the remains of Ethan Talbert’s estate. Scholars were impressed when they found it (the poem that is–not the crumpled papers or the peanuts) as it represents a piece never seen by the public until now. Ever […]

The Uglumph

Make ready the fortress! Gather your guns! Stockpile your food And the cinnamon buns! Collect all the bedding And fine sleeping bags. Do not forget “Get-out-of-jail -free” tags. ‘Cause the Uglumph is comin’. He’s comin’ around. He’s gonna shake up Those who are not profound. He’ll drink up their Pepsi. He’ll gobble the cheese, […]

The March of the Autumn Pumpkins

The night was dark, the air was chill, the moon half shrouded in a cloud; and sitting silent on the hill the pumpkins almost laughed aloud – For farmer Brown (who closed the gate) had gotten focused on a star, and as he gazed in ‘raptured state, had left the wooden door ajar. – Chuckling […]

Ballad of the Parakeets

A burst of thunder shook the house As lightning pierced the night. Then Johnson looked around and saw No human ones in sight. He moved with stealthy, padded steps Across the room, unseen. While wind howled noisily outside, He stopped and scanned the scene— One candle on the window sill, One curtain swinging free, […]